


On Love- Phan Soulmates

by Emma_fandoms_forever



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Phanfiction, Pining, Romance, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_fandoms_forever/pseuds/Emma_fandoms_forever
Summary: My name is Dan Howell, I am 19, and as far as I know, I haven’t met my soulmate yet.How do you know? Well, I still have my soulmate shield clinging to my skin- it’s translucent, and stops me from feeling. Like, I can touch stuff and all that, but I can’t feel it. You can feel the solid weight of whatever it is you’ve touched, but not feel it.You know what I mean?It’s very complicated.It only disappears when you touch your soulmate for the first time.Or, the soulmate AU that no one asked for.





	On Love- Phan Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, person reading this! You're absolutely amazing and I love you! How's I going? Thanks for choosing to read this fic, that alone makes me very happy :) I've just got a few quick things to say:  
> Some of the tweets mentioned in this fic are real phan tweets, some are made up- same with any videos that I may mention in this fic.   
> The OC in this fic is entirely fictional, too.   
> That aside, I really hope you enjoy this, and have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

My name is Dan Howell, I am 19, and as far as I know, I haven’t met my soulmate yet.

How do you know? Well, I still have my soulmate shield clinging to my skin- it’s translucent, and stops me from _feeling_. Like, I can touch stuff and all that, but I can’t _feel_ it. You can feel the solid weight of whatever it is you’ve touched, but not _feel_ it.

You know what I mean?

It’s very complicated.

Taking a shower just feels like warm washing over me, but I can’t feel the water, can’t feel wet.

Getting dressed, I can feel my clothes, but they don’t touch my skin because they physically can’t for the shield being in the way.

If I were to describe how it looked, I’d say it looked exactly like a half-centimetre thick silvery coating over every inch of my skin. Mystic, mysterious, annoying. Even my hair- so it causes complications when I try to style it, not gonna lie. It’s like putting olive oil on your skin- try it. While if someone without a soulshield were to put olive oil on their skin, it would just form little bubbles, but that’s exactly what a soulshield makes water do- just form little bubbles and not actually _touch_ your skin at all. It’s very hard to describe- let’s say it’s like a dry coating of protecting olive oil shield on your skin, literally not allowing you to touch anything, and nothing is physically able to touch you, either. It goes both ways. Anyway- moving swiftly on.

Some of my friends have already found their soulmates, can actually feel everything that goes on around them. Of course, there are some people who never meet their soulmates. I have a feeling that I’ll be one of them. Of course, there’s a possibility- but when I’m as antisocial as I am, with only a select few friends that I choose to talk to, I think it’s pretty unlikely for me to meet my soulmate.

So instead of being social and going out to socialise and have a small possibility of finding them, I sit in my room, deep in thought, and, as usual, on the verge of an existential crisis. I need a distraction before I enter the dark abyss of questioning life.

I sigh and flop back on my bed. Scrolling through the Internet, I try to find something that’ll grab my attention, keep me entertained for a few hours since I have nothing better to do. Opening YouTube, I scroll dejectedly through endless videos, waiting for something to strike me as at least partly entertaining.

_Hmmm._ This video doesn’t look too bad. I scan the username. _AmazingPhil_. Well, that’s something. Why not.

I click on the video and start watching.

All at once, I’m greeted with a sunny, happy “Hey guys!” and I’m taken aback by how good this video is- this guy is funny, adorable, and I can’t seem to look away. _And_ he has hair like mine!

Before I know it, I’ve clicked on video after video and I’ve watched all of AmazingPhil that there is so far. Noticing a Twitter link in the description, I decide to follow this new interest and find out more about him.

His tweets are just as delightful and unusual as his videos, making me laugh. I like them, retweet some, reply to some.

His hair, amongst other things, peaks my interest. It looks so _soft_. I wonder how it feels. Ah yes. I’ll never find out, will I? Because I’ve rendered myself soulmateless. I’m such a happy person.

All the same, I don’t remember ever being this curious about anyone before. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to meet Phil. I shake my head, wanting to get these thoughts out of my head before they develop, but really, what’s the point? It’s good to have a distraction from life. From existential crisises. In a fit of sudden courage, I tweet Phil before I can talk myself out of it.

After quite a few drafts, and nearly chickening out five times, I finally forced myself to press the tweet button.

“Hey, I found your videos and think they’re really good (: any editing tips?”

I exit the app swiftly and lock my phone after that, choosing to go outside of my room (a rare occurrence) to see if I can distract myself from what I’m probably going to regret in the near future. I almost wish I was at college now- it starts in a few weeks but for now I’m at home. Walking into the living room, my mum looks up at me and smiles.

“Dan! Out of your room, I see,” she teases. “You okay?”

I half-smile at her. “Yeah, just a bit bored.”

“Want to go somewhere?”

I consider. “Nah, I might go and sleep for a while. Do it whilst I can.”

Mum just smiles. “Okay.”

I get a glass of water and head back to my room, still not looking at my phone, and eventually fall into a restless, dreamless sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

I’m woken again around an hour later by a loud _ping!_ , and I shrug my duvet off of me from where it had gotten tangled around my limbs- I tend to toss and turn quite a lot sometimes. Not bothering to open my eyes just yet, my hands search lazily for the source of the noise, smoothing over the mattress until they come into contact with the smooth surface of my phone. Unlocking it with my passcode, I squint at the too-bright screen for my newly awoken eyes and read the notification that the screen displays.

_@AmazingPhil has liked your tweet._

_@AmazingPhil replied to your tweet._

My eyes widen, before I scramble to open Twitter, searching for Phil’s reply.

“ _Hey, thanks! I’d be happy to give you editing tips any time :P”_

My heart stutters. Phil replied to my tweet. _Phil replied to my tweet._ Oh my god. Should I reply to that tweet or…? I decide to just wait, not seem too desperate. I’ll just start replying to his new tweets when he posts them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, I wake up after spending most of the night on Tumblr, browsing through the usual funny and weird-as-ever posts and the occasional post about Phil (yes I followed some of the blogs on there. My mind wanders back to the day before, heart thudding when I remember Phil’s tweet from yesterday.

_He actually tweeted me!_ My inner fanboy squeals. I inwardly roll my eyes at how ridiculous I’m being and get out of bed. I have things to do today, and those things include eating unhealthy amounts of cereal and doing pretty much nothing. I’ll probably shower, but then I’ll have to dry and straighten my hair, and that’ll take _ages._ Eh. It’ll take up some of my day, I guess.

Eating my cereal, cheerios, I find myself wondering what it feels like to actually feel cereal in your mouth, swallowing food. Did I forget to mention that this soulmate-shield-THING (more commonly known as a Soulshield) is on the inside as well as the outside? Which is great, I guess, like you don’t get sore throats because no virus can reach it and if you’re ever ill or throw up you don’t feel it much on your throat, but when you don’t taste the food you eat or the juice you drink it’s a bit weird to imagine what it would all be like. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to taste my cereal, feel pain, but maybe not. As is life, I guess.

Once finished eating my cereal, I flop back on my bed, opting to open Twitter and reply to Phil’s tweet, hoping I won’t come on too strong or seem desperate. Looking through Phil’s recent tweets, I see with a hint of surprise that he’s tweeted about Muse. I like Muse! Time to retweet THAT with a reply.

“Oh, you like Muse? Me too!” I hit retweet, sitting back and hoping for a reply. In the meantime, I get up, stretch, and decide to take a shower.

Stepping under the warm spray of water and letting it run over my body, once again I let myself wonder what it’s like to actually _feel_ it cleansing your body. Though, I guess only the soulshield needs cleaning- my actual skin hasn’t been touched at all, besides getting a tan from going on holiday from time to time. I hope it’s my actual skin getting tanned and not the soulshield is all I can say right now.

Pouring shampoo into my hands, I run them through my hair, letting the bubbly liquid spread over each transparent-soulshield-covered strand. What it must be like to feel the actual hair, not with some soulshield covering it, protecting it, I wonder what it would feel like? What does ‘silky’ feel like? Smooth or soft or rough, what do they all feel like? These lucky people who have actually found their soulmates, they can actually feel what it feels like to _feel._ That’s a lot of feels, right?

Having washed my hair and body, I turn off the water and step out of the shower, towel drying my hair hastily and sighing when I realise that I’ll have to straighten it soon. Figuring that I’ll just do it later- it’s not like I’m going out anywhere- I slip on some clean clothes and slink back to my room, checking my phone once more for any notifications.

_AmazingPhil replied to your tweet!_

I’m embarrassed to admit that I squeaked again and almost lost my footing from where I was standing by my bed. Again. Am I ever going to get used to this? More importantly, _will this go on long enough for me to get used to it?_

_‘_ That’s cool- another thing we have in common! We should get talking sometime!’

_Oh._

_My._

_GOD!_

I’m dancing on the inside. No lie. But on the outside, I have the biggest grin on my face and am just standing by the bed, phone in hand, trembling.

_Did he really mean that?_ My mind wonders. _Well of course he did, he wouldn’t have sent it otherwise!_ I think, but find myself arguing against it; _maybe he was just trying to be nice?_ I shake my head and reply to Phil’s reply, just settling with a mild “I’d love that!” and sending it before I can talk myself out of it, or even more importantly, talk myself into adding something else that I’ll probably regret later. Knowing me, it would be the source of many cringe attacks in the future. _Just keep your head about yourself and nothing will go wrong,_ I tell myself mentally before cringing inwardly at how much of a fanboy I’m being. I open my music app up, blasting Muse at full volume, and flop back onto my bed, my still-wet hair dampening my pillow, but I’ll worry about that later.

“Hey Daniel?” Mum says, poking her head through the door, having to raise her voice a little to be heard over the sweet sound of Muse blasting out of my phone. I turn it down and grin sheepishly at her.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go out tonight, all of us, as a family? It’s just; you’re going back to Uni soon so it would be nice to have some family time before you have to leave…”

“Yeah, sure, Mum. That sounds great.”

Mum nods and walks over to my bed to give me a quick hug, which I gladly accept. People don’t really think I am at first, but I’m a massive hugger. After a few moments, Mum lets me go, smiles and walks out of the room. Looks like I _am_ going out today after all.

Sliding off the bed like a deformed blob, I drag myself across the room to get the hair dryer and hair straighteners. Once giving my hair a quick go-through with the hair dryer, I plug in the straighteners and let myself daydream whilst they heat up.

_What it would be like if I ever met Phil in real life. Stepping out, being able to touch Phil; hug him. Be able to talk to him, face to face. Maybe he’d even let me be in one of his videos…_

I shake myself out of my fantasy as I feel the straighteners start to radiate heat from where they’re lying on a placemat to protect the carpet from getting burned. Lifting a lock of my annoying hobbit hair, I clamp down the straighteners and gently but firmly, drag it down my hair, from the root to the tip. I wonder if, without a soulmate shield, hair feels anything when you straighten it.

Maybe it hurts from the heat intensity?

What does hurting even feel like?

 

Will I ever find out?

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, Dan,” mum begins, swallowing her mouthful of food, “what have you been up to lately? You’ve been in your room a lot.”

Ignoring the suggestive glance that my brother, Adrian, gives me, I clear my throat and try to give an answer that won’t provoke a whole interrogation.

“Well, I’ve found this website called YouTube and I’ve been watching videos on that a lot.”

Mum’s facial expression morphs from one of interest to one of slight suspicion.

“Videos? What kind of videos are we talking here?”

It takes me a moment to realise what she’s thinking, and I burst out laughing.

“Jesus Christ, not THAT kind of video, Mum!” I manage to say round my laughing.

Mum looks relieved, and Adrian tries to hide his growing grin behind his hand.

“Okay then, what kind of videos ARE we talking then?”

I sigh mentally. I should’ve just said I was studying or something.

“Well, people make videos about stuff and post them on YouTube, where others can watch and like their videos,” I explain. “It’s quite good.”

Mum considers this. “What kind of things do they talk about?”

My mental sighing intensifies.

“About whatever they want, really. From what kind of day they’ve had to what they’ve recently bought somewhere, or even just an embarrassing backstory.”

“And who have you been watching?” Mum questions. This is turning into an interrogation.

“Just, random people whose videos seem interesting.”

Adrian starts to muffle laughs, finding my discomfort very amusing, it seems. I shoot him a warning glance.

“Specifically who?” Mum presses. If I tell her then I know for a fact that she’ll look Phil up, watch his videos, probably judge him, and if one thing doesn’t strike her fancy she’ll try to stop me from watching him.

“Depends on my mood,” I try to dismiss the subject.

“Like?”

“I don’t really watch specific people.” LIES.

“Hmm… Okay.”

Mum then changes the subject, and I look back over at Adrian, who is trying to calm down from his laughing fit. I must be very amusing for him to laugh that hard. He catches my look and grins devilishly at me, mouthing the words “AMAZING PHIL” at me, and then bursting back into laughter at the look of stricken realisation hitting me.

He knows.

Damn.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back home, in the safety of my room, I allow myself to check my phone notifications, my heart thudding when I see another notification from Twitter. At least I didn’t squeak and nearly fall over this time.

_AmazingPhil replied to your tweet!_

Shaking fingers stumble over the keyboard of my phone, unlocking my phone hastily to read what Phil has said. It takes too many times to unlock and my phone disables for 30 seconds. Slightly mad at myself, I try to calm myself down so I don’t disable my phone further and have to wait even longer.

After thirty seconds that seem like hours, I unlock my phone (successfully, finally) and open up Twitter.

_Me too! We should definitely start talking soon :P_

I scream inwardly. He really did mean it! I go to reply before realising there’s another tweet.

_Ps make videos :P_

This time I really do scream.

 

 

Quietly.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later and I’m back at university.

Amazing. (Phil XD)

Shuffling into my dormitory, I throw my suitcase onto the bed (well, as much as you can throw a heavy suitcase) and flop down beside it. Last night was tiring to say the least- an overemotional mother paired with worrying that you’ve made the wrong life choice makes for little sleep and confusion.

Though, I really do think I shouldn’t be studying law of all things.

What part of me wants to do law at all?

 

 

Well.

 

 

That would be none.

But apparently it looks good when you say that you study it, and that was pretty much all I was looking for. You don’t really care much when you don’t even know what you’re doing with the rest of your life, at all. What was I supposed to do?

 

Looking up as I hear the door open, I grin as I see Chris and PJ enter the room. I’d rather be stuck with them than anyone else in this hell hole, they make it less hell hole-y.

“Dan!” PJ yells as he enters, throwing his bag over his shoulder and not even flinching as it hits the wall and then bounces to the floor in a series of thuds and some slightly alarming bangs.

“Hey Dan!” Chris shouts happily, putting his suitcase on the bed and coming to join PJ and me on the bed, PJ looking pleased with himself as he tips my suitcase off the bed to make room for us all.

“How was your break?”

“It was good thanks. Slept a lot, watched YouTube, caught up with family, that sort of thing,” I reply. “What about you two?”

“It was AMAZING, thanks, Dan!” PJ says. “I drew a lot, caught up with my family, like you, and also watched YouTube. Chris, do you watch stuff on YouTube?”

“Well, I eat, slept and hung out with friends. And yeah, I’ve watched a few videos on there. Dan, who do you watch?”

I try to hide my faint blush. “Well, there’s this guy called AmazingPhil…”

“OH, I’ve heard of him!” PJ interrupts, grinning and throwing his hands in the air. “Watched some of his videos as well. He’s pretty good, isn’t he?”

“Say who?” Chris butts in. Me and PJ look at each other in mock horror, and in unison turn to Chris and grab him.

“GET THE LAPTOP.” PJ and I yell simultaneously at each other, and I reach for my laptop as Chris sits there, still clutched in PJ’s death grip, looking slightly terrified. I type in the password frantically and open up YouTube, clicking on Phil’s newest video. Me and PJ only relax when the video starts playing, lagging somewhat due to slightly rubbish university Wi-Fi.

“Hey guys!” Phil greets in his happy, northern accent. What comes next is what surprises me.

“So, I just wanted to say a big thank you to danisnotonfire, who seems to really like my channel and, those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that we’ve started talking. Dan, if you’re watching this, tweet me!”

I promptly fall of the bed.

Again.

“Dan!” PJ screams, dive-bombing off the bed and piling on top of me. “Senpai noticed you!” he screeches.

“PJ, chill!” I yell from underneath him, and look up onto the bed where Chris is sat, looking confused. He clicks on a few things on my computer screen before screaming too and piling on top of me and PJ. I groan, but I’m amused.

“HE’S LIKE, YOUTUBE FAMOUS! LOOK AT HOW MANY SUBSCRIBERS HE HAS!” Chris yells, content to just squash PJ and me. I try in vain to shove both of them off of me.

“Dan, do you know how big this is? Your YouTube idol just gave you a shoutout! Do you know what I’d give to have a shoutout from MY favourite YouTuber?” PJ asks, voice still slightly louder than necessary.

“Yes, Peej, I know. CAN YOU NOT FEEL ME SHAKING. DID YOU NOT SEE ME FALL OFF THE BED. GET OFF ME YOU LUMP,” I joke, shifting under the pile of friends.

Mercifully, Chris rolls, slowly, off of PJ and I, leaving me to shove PJ off playfully.

“ _Thank_ you,” I say sarcastically. PJ rolls his eyes and shoves me back. I retaliate. This repeats, getting gradually more rowdy until Chris intervenes, literally throwing himself between us and laying on both of us, head on the floor, torso draped over my lap and his legs dangling over PJ.

“ _Now,_ if you two are _quite_ done, we need to focus on the matter at hand. PHIL. MENTIONED. DAN. IN. A. VIDEO.” Chris teases, his voice getting louder towards the end.

“I KNOW!” Chris shrieks again. ”DAN, TELL US EVERYTHING.”

I sigh and relent, telling them both that Phil has tweeted me numerous times and not putting up much of a fight when Chris grabs my phone, unlocks it, (I really need to change my passcode) and opens up my Twitter, reading Phil and I’s tweets to each other, PJ reading over his shoulder and letting out tiny screams every so often.

“Dan, this is BIG. Like, REALLY big.” PJ says, turning to me.

“That’s what she said,” I grin.

Innuendo count: 1

“Be quiet,” PJ grins back, gently smacking me upside the head. “Seriously though. Looking on Phil’s account, he hasn’t really replied to anyone but you.”

“What?” I grab my phone and check for myself. Sure enough, the only tweets on Phil’s account are his own original tweets; funny retweets and replies to my tweets.

“Yaaaaas Dan, go get him!” Chris crows.

“Shut up,” I say, blushing slightly.

“DAN’S BLUSHING! DAN HAS A CRUSH! ON PHIL!” PJ shrieks. I rush to cover up his mouth before he can go further. Only half an hour in and we’re already yelling loud enough for people to hear as they pass our room in the corridor.

Innuendo count: 2

“I do not!” I try to defend myself.

“Yes you do!” Chris sings. “Look how hard he’s blushing! Very hard apparently, because we can still see it over your tan!”

“No, that’s my… soulshield… paint…in..g?” I try weakly to cover it up.

“Nice try, Dan,” PJ laughs.

“OK fine, but I am allowed to blush if I want to!” I say, blushing a little harder.

“Suuure, that’s the only reason you’re blushing,” PJ says, but thankfully lets it go.

For the rest of the night, we sit on our beds, suitcases and bags still to be unpacked sitting forgotten on the floor, as we catch up from our holidays apart and watch YouTube videos. Falling asleep around four a.m., I barely register my phone buzzing from where it’s charging on my nightstand.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“DAAAAAAAAAAAN!” PJ yells, clanging a cooking pot against a spoon and effectively waking me up. I jump and sit up straight in my bed, looking around, dazed. Confused as to where I am. But then I remember- university. Great.

Wait.

Where did PJ get the pot from?

“Peej,” I start.

“Yeeeeeees?” PJ enquires, leaning forward for dramatic impact.

“Just where did you get that cooking pot from?”

“Well…” PJ starts, considers, then shakes his head. “You don’t wanna know.”

I blink at him, once.

“ANYWAY,” PJ moves on. “Good morning, sleeping beauty!”

I snort. “Good mornings don’t exist.”

“Agreed,” PJ approves. “At least, not in university.”

“Truer words were never spoken.” I glance at the time on PJ’s phone, seeing as it was closer to me than my own. 10:38. I shoot out of bed, feeling panic set in.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was this late? I’m late for class!” I say frantically, looking around for some clothes to shove on. PJ laughs.

“Classes aren’t today, remember? Today, we’re just gonna unpack, settle in, and get to grips with our new timetables.”

I stop dead, look at PJ, and let myself calm down before, without any sort of warning, PJ jumps on me, sending us both spiralling onto the bed.

“Peej!” I yell at him. This is the second time he’s squished me and it hasn’t even been a full day yet, if you count the hours up. “First of all, why didn’t you let me sleep? And second of all, get up, you’re squashing me.”

PJ grins evilly at me. “First if all, nope, I’m quite comfy here. And second of all-“he holds up my phone triumphantly, leaving me to wonder how he got it without me noticing- “I woke you up because of _this._ ” He hands me my phone, leaving me to switch it on and see a notification at the top of the screen.

_AmazingPhil is now following you on Twitter!_

I scream.

Loudly.

And for once, I’m glad that PJ is sprawled on top of me, because if he wasn’t I definitely would have fallen off the bed.

Chris busts the door down (well, not literally, but he may as well have, with the amount of aggression he put into it) and falls into the room. “What’s up? Why the scream?”

PJ turns to him. “Phil followed Dan on Twitter!” he hollers.

“OMG, that’s huge!” Chris howls.

Innuendo count: 3

“I KNOW!

“Guys, calm down. I’m not nearly as loud as you two and _I’m_ the one Phil’s following,” I laugh. Chris and PJ start laughing too, before calming down somewhat.

“Yeah, true.” PJ agrees. “We can still fanboy like the very extra best friends we are though.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days later, I’m exhausted, have heaps of work to do but am happy.

Happy because, in the space of these three days, Phil and I have tweeted each other non-stop, whether it’s private message or replying to each other’s tweets.

Happy because Phil has suggested that we skype soon.

Happy because I finally have a reason to be.

I’m sitting on my bed, studying for an upcoming exam, when PJ bursts in with a huge smile on his face.

“Dan, Chris, guess what?” he sings.

I study him for a moment, before gasping. “Your soulshield!”

PJ grins. “Guess who met their soulmate?”

I laugh, suddenly high on excitement for my best friend. “Who is it?”

“She’s amazing, Dan,” PJ starts, flopping down backwards onto the bed, before sitting back up in surprise. “So _that’s_ what bedsheets feel like…”

“What _do_ they feel like?” I ask, feeling wistful.

“I’m not sure how to describe it… I think this is what people say _soft_ is…” PJ whispers. I feel envy bubbling up in my chest but push it down, not wanting to spoil this for Peej. He deserves the best.

“Wow…” PJ murmurs, feeling the bedsheets, pillow cases, hands wandering to the carpet, feeling the texture which I wouldn’t be able to feel like he was right now.

For a few minutes, Chris and I just watch PJ in a kind of daze, picking up random objects and marvelling at how they feel, how each thing apparently has a different texture. He could be joking for all we know.

“So, Peej, can you taste now?” I ask. PJ’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, so I throw him a cereal box that was on my bedside table from our late-night chats. He shakes some into his hand and tentatively puts a few pieces of the cereal (cheerios, of course) into his mouth, before he jumps off the bed in excitement.

“IT’S AMAZING!” he yells, practically dancing around the room. His phone vibrates from his bed stand, and he jumps to pick it up, nearly dropping it when it buzzes again, feeling the new sensation. “Woah!”

As I watch PJ experience this new lease of life, I let my mind wander to what my soulmate might be like. If I ever found them. Would they be male or female? What colour eyes would they have? What makes them laugh; what makes them cry?

Almost as if by a magnetic force, my mind keeps being drawn back to black emo hair, a sunny smile, and ocean eyes.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Four hours later, PJ dances back into the room, having gone out with his soulmate, who is apparently named Opal, with Opal trailing in behind him.

“Hey guys! Meet Opal,” PJ stops a minute to take her hand- “my soulmate.” He can’t stop grinning.

“Hey!” Opal laughs, eyes lighting up. “Who are you both?”

I stand up and shake her hand. “I’m Dan, nice to see that you’re PJ’s soulmate. Treat him well,” I warn, but say it whilst smiling so she knows I’m messing around. A little. She gets it and laughs again, shaking my hand enthusiastically.

“I’m Opal, as you know,” she smiles, “nice to meet you too!”

Chris comes up and introduces himself too, and soon we’re sat on our beds, laughing, eating cereal and talking about everything and nothing. Looks like we have a new member of our group, then.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up, wondering what PJ and Opal feel when _they_ pick up their phones. Reading the notification on the screen, I open up Twitter and go straight to my private messages.

**AmazingPhil:** Hey Dan, how are you?

I smile to myself and tap out a reply.

**Danisnotonfire:** hey, im good wbu

**AmazingPhil:** I’m great thanks! Anything new in the life of Dan?

**Danisnotonfire:** yeah, PJ found his soulmate today. I wonder what its like to not have a soulshield eh

**AmazingPhil:** Yeah, I know right. I’d love to have met my soulmate already – I wonder who mine is

**Danisnotonfire:** same here tbh. I wonder if I’ll ever meet my soulmate

**AmazingPhil:** Oh, I’m sure you will sometime Dan! Who knows, maybe we’ll meet our soulmates around the same time as each other and be able to scream about it together!

**Danisnotonfire:** ahaha yea, I wish. Ive pretty much rendered myself soulmateless.

**AmazingPhil:** Don’t say that! I’m sure you’ll definitely meet them someday. I wish I could tell you this to your face.

**Danisnotonfire:** ahaha id like that

**AmazingPhil:** Well, do you have skype?

My heart thuds. Is he really suggesting?--

**AmazingPhil:** Mine is AmazingPhil, we could skype if you wanted to?

**Danisnotonfire:** Oh, mine is danisnotonfire, yeah id love to skype!

So I don’t use punctuation when I message. Sue me.

**AmazingPhil:** ok cool, I’ll call you!

My

Heart

Stops.

 

Is he really going to call me?

It seems so.

Because my laptop starts pinging with my notification music.

I look up hurriedly and see everyone looking at me curiously.

“Um, Phil is skyping me guys!” I squeak. PJ screams – very loudly- and jumps off the bed, as Chris hoots loud enough to make us all wince and falls off his bed head-first, and Opal sits there looking very confused as PJ grabs her hand and motions for Chris to follow.

“EVERYONE, OUT!” PJ yells, already half way out of the door. “Opal, I’ll explain in a minute. Go get him, Dan!”

And just like that, the room is empty.

I shake my head, in a half-stupor, before slamming back into reality and opening my laptop, accepting Phil’s skype call and smiling when I see his grinning face on my screen.

“Hey Dan!” Phil says, face lighting up. “Now that we’re face to face, how are you?”

I laugh slightly- it’s not every day when you have your YouTube idol on skype with you- and try my hardest not to let my inner fanboy take over.

“Hey Phil,” I start, “I’m good, how about you?”

Phil grins, his tongue poking out from in between his teeth adorably. “I’m great; I saw a cloud shaped like a cactus today.”

I laugh properly this time. “What?”

“Yeah, it had little fluffy spikes and everything! So, what’s this about PJ finding his soulmate?”

“Well, just that. She’s lovely- her name is Opal and she’s absolutely lovely- I’ve just been talking to her.”

“Is she still with you?”

“Nope, she just left.”

“Aw, bad timing! Why did she leave?”

I blush. Should I tell him or-? Ah whatever, I’ll just tell him and overthink it later.

“Well, PJ kind of herded everyone out of the room when he heard that you were skyping me,” I mumble, just loud enough for him to hear.

Phil laughs loudly. “Why’s that?”

“Maybe because you’re my idol and he basically didn’t want to distract anyone from anything,” I explain, causing Phil to grin again.

“I’m your idol? Awwwww, Dan, that’s sweet,” Phil croons playfully, and I feel myself blushing a little harder.

“Shut up.”

“Nope.”

“…”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve kind of started counting you as one of my closer friends now…”

“AWWW, Phil, that’s sweet,” I use Phil’s words against him, causing him to blush slightly as he laughs.

“You got me there,” he giggles, as I marvel at how easy it is to talk to Phil. I was really expecting it to be awkward, both of us at a loss of what to say, but there’s no awkwardness here at all.

“What do you think they’ll be like?” Phil asks, leaning in head on his hand.

“Who?” I ask.

“Your soulmate,” Phil elaborates. I think for a moment.

“Well, I try not to imagine who they’ll be because I feel like if they’re not who I was thinking they’d be like, I’d be letting them down in some way for not imagining them.”

Phil’s face grows serious. “Dan, it’s okay to not be met with what you think. Who knows, they may be exactly who you are thinking of, they might be even better, and if they aren’t, I’m sure you’ll love them just as much.”

“Yeah, but what if I don’t meet my soulmate at all?” I ask quietly. Phil’s eyes sparkle.

“My Mum told me that when she met Dad for the first time, when they were in close proximity she felt a bit of a pull in her gut, almost pulling her to Dad, and she followed the feeling, leading her straight to him.”

The sad feeling in my gut lightens a little. Maybe there’s hope after all.

“It’s probably a little early for me to say this and I don’t really know if you’ll want to, but one day we should meet up,” Phil says dreamily. “That’d be so much fun!”

I feel my face light up as a huge grin spreads over my face. “Are you kidding? I’d love to!”

“We’ll have to organize it soon,” Phil confirms. I nod in agreement before my phone buzzes, and I check the message notification on the screen.

“Ooh, who is it?” Phil asks.

“It’s PJ asking if they can come back,” I say. “Which is a little weird seeing as I didn’t kick them out in the first place.” Phil laughs.

“Could I say hey to them?” he asks shyly. “I’d love to know who you hang out with all the time!”

I nod yes and send a quick text to PJ telling him to come back. Only seconds later, PJ kicks down the door with brute force and everyone piles back into the room. I laugh.

“You were right outside the door the whole time weren’t you?”

“Yep. Every second,” PJ winks and I sigh jokingly.

“Of course you were.” I tilt my laptop so that Phil can see the rest of the room and its occupants.

“Hey everyone!” Phil says, offering a small wave and a shy smile, causing my heart to thud.

“Hey!” PJ says, waving manically at my laptop. Opal smiles and mumbles a shy ‘hello’ to Phil whilst Chris jumps in front of the screen and yells ‘HELLO PHILLIP’ at the top of his lungs, causing us all to fall apart laughing. None of us would be surprised if people heard that halfway across campus at that volume.

“So, you must be Opal, then?” Phil says quietly but genuinely, directing his gaze to Opal, who grins and says “Yeah, I am. Dan told you about me?”

“Yeah, he did, he said that you are absolutely lovely.”

Opal blushes and weakly hits my arm. PJ jokes around, saying that I was stealing his soulmate, making me laugh and reply that I probably didn’t have a soulmate because no-one would put up with me for long enough.

“Aw, Dan, don’t say that!” Phil defends. “I’d put up with you for that long!”

Out of the lens view, I get a not-so-gentle kick from PJ as I blush fiercely in view of the lens (unfortunately for me).

“AWWWW, Dan’s blushing!” Chris point out the obvious- as if it wasn’t clear enough already. I look down at the floor and wrap my arms round my waist, feeling like I need the protection. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Phil look down momentarily, the light of his phone illuminating his face. Seconds later, my phone buzzes with a Twitter message.

**AmazingPhil:** Take no notice of them

**AmazingPhil:** Besides it’s true

**AmazingPhil:** And don’t feel embarrassed, cute as it is

**AmazingPhil:** I wish I was there to hug you instead of you doing it yourself

My blush deepens, and a huge, happy smile spreads on my face at Phil’s words. My heart definitely did _not_ start beating faster at that last message. Not at all. Nope.

“AWWWWW, what’s that on your phone Dan?” PJ asks loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. I look up hastily and turn off my phone, not wanting to give my friends anything else to tease me about, light-hearted as it is. I have to be able to get a word in and tease them back, haven’t I? I look back at my laptop, seeing Phil gazing directly at me, small smile gracing his features. I mouth a quick ‘thank you’ and he nods, smile growing. I’ll message him back when PJ and Chris aren’t here to gawk over my shoulder.

Damn that last message, now all I want is to hug Phil.

“So, Phil, what do you do with your life when you’re not making videos?”

Phil pauses for a second, thinking. “Well, mostly I tweet Dan and hang out with friends.”

“DANIEL HOWELL” Chris howls, playfully shoving me and provoking another blush. “YOU SCANDAL!”

Phil laughs at my embarrassed pain.

 

We all end up talking until eleven, my on my bed with my laptop and Phil on the screen, with PJ and Opal sitting on PJ’s bed and Chris on his bed, making ‘forever alone’ jokes. Around five to, Opal yawns loudly, leaning against PJ, who wraps an arm around her and says he’ll walk her back to her room, shooting Chris a glance that clearly means _come now,_ and then suddenly, the room is empty again. I turn back to my laptop.

“Well that was crazy,” I say.

“It was amazing!” Phil bursts out. “I’m so jealous of you!”

“Well I guess the feeling’s mutual then.”

We just grin sheepishly at one another for a few moments, before I break the silence again.

“Listen, about your messages to me earlier… Thank you. I’m not really used to people complimenting me, so when you did, it was quite big. And then those messages… Just … Thanks. And for the record, I wish I could hug you too.”

“Any time, Dan!” Phil exclaims. “I’m quite surprised that you don’t get complimented often. You definitely deserve it! And, one day, I’ll make sure to hug you. I’m putting it on my bucket list.”

I laugh. “Your bucket list? Really?”

“Yep. And I’m making sure to get that particular thing done soon.”

My heart thuds, threatening to beat right out of my chest.

“Then I’ll make sure to do the same.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, I’m sitting, bored, in class when my phone buzzes. None of the teachers really care anyway and also I’m sat at the back on the class, so I pull it out.

Innuendo count: 4(?)

**AmazingPhil:** *virtual hug*

**AmazingPhil:** Hopefully that’ll do until I can hug you in real life

**AmazingPhil:** How are classes going?

I smile and type a hasty reply.

**Danisnotonfire:** *virtual hug* thanks m8

**Danisnotonfire:** classes are boring as usual. why did I even decide to study law in the first place smh

**AmazingPhil:** It’ll be okay! Soon you’ll be out of class and you can forget about it until you start your homework/go back to that class

**Danisnotonfire:** yeah true

**AmazingPhil:** Just get through these classes for me

**Danisnotonfire:** ok fine only for you though

**AmazingPhil:** :D

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s after classes finish, around eight at night, when I get another skype call from Phil.

“Hey,” he says nervously. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, this is fine,” I say, relieved to have a break from studying law for a bit. Leaning back in my chair slightly, I add on to my sentence. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, I just wanted to chat, to be honest,” Phil declares. “I love talking to you.”

“I love talking to you too,” I say back, suddenly shy. I laugh suddenly, looking around the room. “I’m glad PJ and Chris aren’t here or they’d be teasing the crap out of me.”

I lean back further in my chair.

“Be careful!” Phil warns. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I smirk and lean back further, teasing him.

“Dan…”

“What? I’m—“but we never get to hear what I was, as, as predicted, yes, I fall off my chair. (Lol danisnotonchairs made an inevitable appearance)

“Dan! Are you okay?” Phil yells, and I laugh from where my limbs are tangled on the floor.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I can’t really get hurt – this soulshield stops anything from hurting.”

“Oh yeah, good point.”

“I wonder what pain feels like.”

“I’m kind of glad that I don’t have to feel it. I mean, once I meet my soulmate I’ll be happy to go through pain with them- but for now, I’m glad I don’t have to experience it.”

I mirror Phil’s words with a smile. “Oh yeah, good point.”

“Soulmates are a weird idea. But I like it. No mistakes are made this way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, if we didn’t have these soulshields, people could go around getting in relationships with people who aren’t their soulmates, and they wouldn’t even know. Just imagine. Convinced that that person is ‘the one’, when in actual fact your soulmate could be halfway around the world, hurting or in a relationship as well, and there’s be no way of telling.”

“Wow… that went deep.”

Innuendo count: 5

“Yeah, but don’t you agree?” Phil asks.

“I agree so much that I’m halfway to an existential crisis,” I say, genuinely feeling that way. “What even is the meaning of life?”

“42,” Phil replies seriously, as I gape at him.

“What?”

“Never mind,” Phil laughs, “Tumblr post.”

“Whatever you say.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_AmazingPhil mentioned you in a tweet!_

“DAN,” PJ yells from his bed. “Have you seen Phil’s tweet yet?” He asks, excitement creeping into his voice.

“No, I’ll check now,” I say, suspicious at the mischievous gleam in PJ’s eyes. Chris, already on Twitter it says, screams and jumps onto my bed.

“DAAAAN OHMIGOSH-“

“Chris calm down and let me see for myself,” I laugh.

I open Twitter, click on my notifications, before finally seeing Phil’s tweet. It was a reply to a fan who’s asked him what was on his life to-do list.

“My number-one life goal right now is to meet Dan in real life!”

I let out a short scream before closing my mouth hastily, embarrassed. PJ laughs and joins Chris and me on the bed, lying over my legs comfortably.

“Can you believe it?” He shrieks. “Looks like this is serious!” He grabs my phone and starts tapping out a reply to the tweet, before I snatch it back and read what he’s already tapped.

“LOVE YOU PHI”

Well I’m glad he got no further and couldn’t finish that before I got it back off of him is all I can say on this matter.

“Nopenopenopitynope,” I reprimand as I delete the typed tweet. “There is no way I’m posting anything along those lines.”

“Yet,” Chris cackles, causing PJ to laugh loudly.

“Shut up the two of you,” I say, playfully hitting them across the top of their heads.

“Seriously though, this is amazing! PJ exclaims. “No pun intended.”

“Yeah, I know,” I say.

“I know this is a little unrealistic but… What if…” PJ starts.

“What?”

“What if… Phil was your… What if Phil was your soulmate?”

My heart stops.

I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about this before…

That I haven’t wanted it…

Because, don’t get me wrong, I’d love it, but…

What if he wasn’t?

What if I built up hope, only to meet him and find out that he isn’t?

“Dan?” Chris asks hesitantly, touching my arm to bring me back to reality. I sigh.

“Well… I’m just gonna be upfront about this- I have thought about that… But… It’s just- what if I built up hope only to have it dashed?”

PJ sighs too. “Good point.”

But once voicing my thoughts out loud, I know that, whether we’re soulmates or not, I’ve well and truly fallen for Phil Lester.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Dan!” Phil beams on a Skype call a few weeks later. We’ve been skyping almost every day now and my feelings are getting almost unbearable.

“Heya, Phil,” I respond, using my usual two-fingered salute to greet him. “How are things in the Lester Life?”

“Things are good, thanks. How are things going in the Howell Hoedown?”

“Really? Hoedown?”

“It was the best I could think of with short notice! Besides, I think it’s good!”

“Right, okay, let’s roll with that then.”

“So? How _are_ things? You didn’t answer the question!”

I consider just telling Phil how I’m actually feeling. How I wish he was my soulmate, that I’m in love with him and I haven’t even met him in person yet. That all I want is to be able to touch him, hug him, and talk to him without a screen separating us. But that’d probably create too much trouble. Instead, I just lay on a smile and fake it.

“Yeah, everything’s good too thanks.”

Phil narrows his eyes. “You hesitated.” “Did not.”

“Dan, just tell me what’s wrong, I could be able to help! And don’t say nothing’s wrong, I can tell that you’re down.”

I sigh inwardly. I really don’t want to tell him about the whole soulmates thing. What if it ruins our friendship?

“It’s just…” I internally panic. I can’t tell him! What else could I say that’s at least partially plausible? Oh yeah! Law!

“I’m just really fed up, I guess.” Well, that part’s true at least. “I just need a break from all of this and don’t feel like I can deal with it much longer.” Well, at least I didn’t lie about any of this.

“Well, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that anyways. Remember my tweet about my number one goal in life?”

How could I forget?

I nod, heart starting to thud.

“Well, I wanted to ask you… Would you like to come and stay with me for a while, in my new apartment? I really want you to be able to take a break from Uni, and besides, I’ve really been wanting to meet you in person for so long now.”

RIP, Dan Howell. Cause of death: THAT SENTENCE.

I stutter repeatedly, suddenly unable to speak coherently.

“Y-yeah, I’d… I’d absolutel-ly l-love that!”

Phil grins widely; tongue poking out from between his teeth in the adorable way that he did so often.

“Ok, cool! When are you next free?” he asks happily.

I half tune out of the conversation as I rattle off when I’m free and Phil makes notes on his phone. In the end, we agree to meet up in two weeks’ time, and I will stay at Phil’s apartment for two weeks before coming back to Uni.

“So that’s sorted then,” Phil announces after I get off my phone to Mum, telling her my plans and assuring her that I’ll be fine by myself on the train up to Manchester.

“Yep,” I say, equally happily. Great timing, as PJ, Chris and Opal burst in.

“HEY, Dan,” PJ sings, “Spoken to Philly recently?”

I turn my laptop around so they can all see Phil on the screen. “Good timing people, I am right now,” I drawl.

“PHILADELPHIA!” PJ yells, forgetting that his hand is still tangled with Opal’s and rushing towards the bed, apologising profusely when he drags her with him roughly, sighing in relief when she assures him that it’s fine and she isn’t hurt.

“Whatcha talking about?” Opal asks when everyone is seated on one bed and calm (well, as calm as you can get with two hyperactive best friends and the hyperactive girlfriend/soulmate of one of the hyperactive best friends).

“Oh, Dan and I were just talking about when we’re going to meet up,” Phil states calmly. “This is in two weeks’ time, by the way.”

The three others on the bed all turn to me excitedly, before jumping on my and squealing, knocking my laptop slightly off balance from where we’d placed it between PJ and Chris as if Phil were really here. Unfortunately, this means that Phil has full view of this full-speed attack and he sits there, laughing.

“Phil!” I yell, scandalised. “Help me, you spork!”

Phil responds by laughing even harder.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One week crawls by, filled with law and studying and Phil and more law. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that soon I’ll have a two-week break with Phil, away from law, away from Uni, away from revision and lectures and _work._ Even with the amount of work that’s been piled on me; I manage to skype Phil for a few hours every night, when we discuss plans for when I come up. These plans cheer me up immensely and help distract me when I’m down.

One week to go.

I just have to get past this week.

Only seven days.

_AmazingPhil has mentioned you in a tweet!_

“Only seven days until I see @danisnotonfire :D”

Seven, long, boring days.

But it’s definitely worth it.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days to go.

 

I skype Phil.

“Hey Dan!” he greets, smile illuminating his features. “The time’s been going so slowly lately, I can’t wait until Tuesday!”

“Me neither,” I admit. “It feels like years, these past two weeks.”

“More like centuries,” Phil agrees.

“Two days to go,” I say.

“Two days too long,” Phil sighs.

“OH SHUT UP YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS,” Chris yells from his bed. “MEET UP ALREADY!”

“Shut up Chris,” I shout back fondly. “You know you’re just jealous.”

“You didn’t deny the whole lovebirds thing,” he says triumphantly.

Me and Phil share an amused glance.

“All the better to get you wound up over, Chris,” Phil drawls, grinning at me.

I wish we didn’t have to joke about the lovebirds thing.

I wish it was true.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day to go.

I have my suitcase packed, filled with pairs of jeans and black jumpers and tops. My laptop sits atop the closed case plugged in and charging, my phone doing the same. I’ve made sure to work extra hard this week and get rid of any homework (can it even be called homework if you’re not even at home?) so I won’t have to worry about doing it when I’m with Phil.

_AmazingPhil has mentioned you in a tweet!_

_“_ One day to go @danisnotonfire :P”

I tweet him back instantly.

“@AmazingPhil pick up your skype!!!”

Almost instantly, he does.

“Dan!”

“Hey!”

“I can’t believe you’re coming up tomorrow. It’s finally happening!”

“I know! Honestly, this whole thing feels like a dream,” I laugh.

“I’ll finally be able to hug you in real life!”

“I can’t wait!”

“Seriously, you two? Save it for when you’re together,” PJ chuckles, joining me on the bed and beckoning for Chris to join us. “I’m gonna text Opal, get her to come over, and we’re all gonna chat alllll night.”

Ten minutes later, we’re all seated comfortably on the bed, PJ and Chris interrogating Phil and I about what our plans for the fortnight are and Opal sending me sympathetic looks. Phil doesn’t seem fazed, though.

“What are you two… planning on doing?” PJ asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and nudging me with his foot. Opal smacks his arm playfully. “I’m not sorry,” he grins.

I roll my eyes.

Phil grins.

This goes on for maybe half an hour before we move on and talk about other things. It gets to around half twelve when Phil yawns.

“Well, it’s getting late and Dan has to leave at eight, so I’m going to go now. Dan, get some sleep, I don’t want you tired for tomorrow! I’ll see you in the morning! Oh, that sounds so real; I can’t believe this is happening!”

“Ok,” I yawn too; yawns are contagious. “See you in the morning!”

“See you, Dan! Bye everyone!”

“Bye Phil!” everyone choruses, and I smile and salute at him as usual, before ending the call. I shut my laptop lid and look around at everyone else.

“So… It’s really happening,” PJ says, dream-like. “I can’t believe it.”

“Me neither,” I say. “But for now, I’m tired.” Opal and PJ take that as their cue to leave and stand up, Opal hugging me tightly and pressing a kiss to my cheek as she does so.

“Good luck, Dan. I know you’ll have a great time,” she whispers, before pulling away.

PJ hugs me too, before pulling back and smiling. “Enjoy, mate,” he says. “Even though I’ll see you before you leave tomorrow.”

They both leave, and it’s just Chris and I on my bed.

“Well, I’m tired too,” Chris says, and gets up to brush his teeth. “Wake me up before you leave, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will,” I say, and Chris disappears into the bathroom with his toothbrush. Once he comes out, I get up and shower briefly, so I won’t have to in the morning and I can sleep in later.

As I drift off to sleep, my head swims with images of tomorrow, the possibilities that it will bring.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My alarm goes off at quarter past seven the next morning, loud enough to wake me but mercifully not waking PJ and Chris from their respective beds.

I get up, heart pounding as I realise that _oh god, today’s the day,_ and I struggle not to let out an excited yell before straightening my hair.

At twenty to eight, I tiptoe over to Chris’ bed and whisper to him that I’m leaving soon, as promised. To my surprise he jumps out of bed and hugs me tightly, telling me to stay safe and enjoy myself. Then, he hands me a black sharpie, to both of our amusements, telling me he was sure it’d come in handy at some point. I put it in my suitcase and grin.

By this time, PJ is awake too, sitting on his bed and bouncing like a child on Christmas Eve.

“I’m so excited for you,” he whisper-shouts, careful to not wake any of the surrounding rooms.

We talk to pass the time until five to eight, when I leave our shared dorm room, suitcase in hand and phone in pocket, walking to the train station with Chris and PJ (surprisingly) by my side.

When the train comes into view, PJ and Chris hug me one last time before waving me off as I board the train and sit down with the suitcase at my feet. The train starts to move away. I look out of the window, waving at PJ and Chris who wave back excitedly. I feel immense exhilaration blooming in my chest. This is it. I’m going to meet Phil.

My phone vibrates with a text from Phil.

**Phil:** Morning! Today’s the day! :D

I smile and text back.

**Me:** I’m on the train right now XD

**Phil:** YAY!!!

**Me:** Ahaha yh ikr XD

The train jolts, and I drop my phone. Picking it up, I notice a fresh crack, only small, going from one side of the bottom left corner to the other side of it. Damn. If only phones had soulshields too.

**Me:** I just dropped my pHONE

**Phil:** Oh no! Is it cracked?

**Me:** only a small one but eh

**Phil:** xD

I plug in my headphones and tune out the world for a while, enjoying the sound of Muse blasting in my ears. Somehow, the train journey ends quicker than expected and the train draws to a stop. I look out of the window once more; looking for Phil on the platform, but there’s so many people there I can’t make out whether he’s there or not.

But then, things change.

I stand up, grab my suitcase from the floor and step off the train.

That part’s normal.

I go to step to the right, but get pulled back. Not by a person, but my body physically _won’t_ allow me to.

I frown and step forward. My body allows me to do so. I try to step right. Nope. I step left, and suddenly I’m being _pulled._ Not physically. It’s the weirdest feeling. I’m so confused.

In the end, I decide to just listen to my body and go where it’s telling me to.

Left. Keep walking in that direction. I look around, almost frantically, for Phil. What if I’m walking away from him?

The pull suddenly stills, and I sigh in relief. But then it’s back, and stronger than before. Pulling me in a different direction, so I obey. Walking slightly faster than usual, I pull my suitcase behind me whilst I look around for Phil. _Where is he?_

It’s pulling me harder, it’s almost painful now; so I speed up a little more, looking everywhere for Phil, when suddenly-

He’s there.

Right in front of me.

“Phil,” I gasp, and he leans down swiftly and engulfs me in a hug. It’s so warm and I feel so _safe,_ so happy at first that I don’t realise.

Don’t realise that I feel completely different.

The pull stopped as soon as we made contact.

And with that contact, something else disappeared.

 

My soulshield.

I gasp.

Phil does too.

We pull away simultaneously, looking at each other in disbelief before looking down at our hands.

No soulshield.

I roll up a sleeve.

No soulshield.

I feel my hair. My _hair_ \- is this what soft feels like?

No soulshield.

Phil and I make eye contact again, and both burst into happy tears, hugging again, tighter than before.

“I can’t believe it,” Phil laughs breathily into my neck.

“Neither can I,” I whisper back, “but I’m so glad it’s you.”

“So am I. Happier than you’d ever believe. Let’s go back to my apartment and not stand here in a train station when we could be on a comfy couch with cereal,” Phil smiles.

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

We walk back to Phil’s apartment as its not far, taking every second to touch in some way, whether it’s holding hands, hugging or just walking with our arms slung around each other’s waists.

[Writer’s note: it’s not the any apartment that Dan and Phil have ever had]

We enter Phil’s apartment and I automatically jump onto his couch, leaving my suitcase beside it. I hear Phil chuckle as he closes the door, walking over to join me on the couch, and I mechanically wrap my arms around him again, still not able to process that Phil is my soulmate. No soulshield anymore. No soulmate-less thoughts. Just Phil.

“I still can’t believe it,” Phil starts. “I mean, well it’s safe to tell you now because I know for sure, but I was _hoping_ against all hope that this would happen.” I break the hug to stare at him.

“I might have been doing the same thing,” I finally admit. “And I think PJ had his suspicions too.”

“PJ knows everything,” Phil jokes.

I laugh at the truth behind his words. PJ does know more than he lets on, sometimes.

I run my hand over the couch arm, finally being able to _feel_ for the first time in my life.

“It’s so weird,” I murmur, “Being able to feel. I… I never thought I’d be able to.”

Phil wraps an arm around me again and nuzzles my hair. “Me neither, really,” he says. “I mean, it’s such a big world… the chances of me actually finding my soulmate… just… wow. And it’s you as well!” He runs a hand though his hair. “Is this what soft feels like?”

I touch his hair. “It must be,” I say. Phil beams again and leans back on the couch, sighing at the new feeling, pulling me back with him. I lean my head back so it’s resting lightly on his shoulder, both of us revelling in the feeling of _feeling_ , elation coursing through our veins.

“You okay?” Phil asks softly.

“I’m fine,” I murmur. “Just, so, so happy.”

“Me too.”

“Hey, Dan, should we tell PJ and everyone or just wait for a bit?”

I consider which option will work best.

“I think it’ll be really funny to skype them randomly in a few days and just casually mention it like it’s no big deal. They’ll all flip out,” I laugh, causing Phil to laugh too.

“Sounds like a plan then! But for now, want to taste things for the first time?”

“Yes, definitely!”

Phil gets up and walks into the kitchen and comes back with some boxes of cereal. I laugh. _Of course._ Phil shakes some into his hand and offers some to me. I eagerly take some and shove it in my mouth like it’s the first time I’ve eaten in years. (Innuendo count: 6) Which, in a way, is true. My eyes widen as flavour explodes on my taste buds for the first time in nineteen years. Phil is watching me with a soft smile on his lips and question in his eyes. I gesture to him to eat some.

“It’s amazing!”

Phil places a few pieces of the cereal- cinnamon, of course, in his mouth and instantly reaches for more. I laugh at how adorable it is. Phil catches my eye and laughs too; this whole thing is so surreal.

“I’ll take it you like it too?”

“Yes,” Phil breathes. “I can’t believe I went for twenty years without tasting cereal!”

“Me neither,” I say, “but I went nineteen years. Guess I beat you by a year,” I say, sticking my tongue out at him. By this time, Phil has finished his mouthful of cereal and lunges for me, knocking me (albeit gently) back onto the couch.

“How dare you tease me,” he chuckles, bringing a hand up to cup the back of my head. I poke his cheek playfully, and he laughs harder as he runs a hand through my hair.

“So soft,” he murmurs, both of us serious all of a sudden.

I don’t know which of us moves first, but suddenly we’re kissing, Phil’s lips on mine, I can taste the cereal flavour still clinging to his lips and I’m _falling,_ falling through a haze of happiness and elation coursing through my body as I share my first kiss with Phil, my _soulmate._ We fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. I know that sounds so cliché but it’s _true,_ and neither of us want to pull away. Unfortunately, the need for oxygen becomes too great to ignore and we pull away for a few seconds, foreheads resting on each other, breathing lightly, smiling uncontrollably. Phil suddenly pulls away with a giggle.

“What?” I ask, unable to stop smiling.

“Soft and _neat,_ ” Phil giggles again.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Dan, do you want to film a video?” Phil asks.

I look up at him from where I’m leaning into his side, cuddled up on the couch.

“Yeah, sure,” I grin, happy that he wants me to be in one of his videos.

“We should make a tradition! Do it every year!” Phil suggests.

“Sounds good!” I say, when an idea strikes me as I think of Chris. “Let me just get something, be right back.”

 

Twenty minutes later and we’re sat in front of Phil’s bed, doing a Q&A with cat whiskers sharpied onto our faces like the mature people that we aren’t.

“Who is your soulmate? Well, everyone, I can now reveal that my soulmate IS in fact…” Phil pauses for dramatic effect before moving to the side as I slide into the camera’s view. Being the clumsy teen (only _just_ a teen though) that I am, my hand somehow manages to slip on the carpet as I slide over, resulting in me slipping over and landing in Phil’s lap, letting out a tiny muffled scream as I do so.

“Dan!” Phil giggles, making no effort to help me back up, so I stay there for a few seconds before rolling off Phil’s lap, reminding myself of Draco Malfoy in A Very Potter Musical, rolling on the floor.

“Hello Internet!” I say, giving a quick two-fingered salute to the camera.

“Yes, this is my actual soulmate- no clickbait about it!” Phil beams adorably.

I nod silently, though I’m wearing a smile to match Phil’s.

“And we haven’t told anyone about it yet, so Dan, we’ll probably have to tell your friends and our parents before posting this,” Phil suggests. I laugh.

“Nah, let’s just watch their shock as they see this video and laugh at their reactions.”

Phil laughs loudly. “That’s so mean!”

“Exactly!”

We finish the video smoothly, before skyping PJ, Chris and Opal. PJ answers, picking up his phone and grinning suggestively through the screen. I can see the glint in his eyes and nudge Phil, who grins at me, understanding what I’m trying to say. We’ll have some fun with this.

“Hey, you two! Anything _new_ in your lives lately?” PJ wiggles his eyebrows as Chris and Opal appear behind him.

“Hey, you three. Nope, nothing much really, how about you lot?” Phil replies innocently. Chris narrows his eyes.

“Are you _sure-“_

“Yeah, quite sure. How’s it going back there?” I interrupt. Opal grins, realisation crossing her face before she decides to go along with it. Smart girl.

“Yeah, it’s good here too. You know, the usual. Dates-“she nudges PJ, who grins sheepishly- “classes, homework, the works. How’s it going in Manchester?”

“It’s going great, thanks! We’re so happy to finally have met each other!” Phil interjects before PJ gets a chance to interrupt. PJ grins.

“Just _how_ happy, exactly? Has something… _happened_ to make you that happy?”

Phil and I look at each other for a few seconds, acting puzzled and trying to hide the chuckles that are starting to flit into our serious expressions.

“Well I mean… We’ve _met?_ Isn’t that enough excuse to be happy?” I ask mischievously. Chris sighs. “Are we going to have to spell it out for you two or are you going to say it yourselves?” he asks, eyes glinting with mirth.

“Tell us what?” Phil asks, a small laugh escaping him. PJ looks increasingly suspicious.

“DANIEL HOWELL I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T TELL US WITHIN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS I WILL SHOW PHILLY BOY HERE THAT VIDEO WHE-“

“Okay, okay, stop!” I yell over PJ, waving my hands and laughing hysterically. I take Phil’s hand in mine, out of the view of the screen, and he squeezes it in confirmation. We share a glance before breaking our serious composures and laugh for a moment.

“Yes, we’re soulmates. Happy?” I reveal.

“REALLY?” PJ screeches, Opal grinning and covering her ears.

“CONGRATULATIONS! I KNEW IT!” Chris hollers, jumping off his bed and landing on the floor with a crash.

“THAT’S AMAZING! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH! WE ALL KNEW IT!” Opal shrieks, throwing her hands up in celebration and almost falling backwards off PJ’s bed with her enthusiasm.

“Ahahaha, thank you!” Phil beams, looking over to me and taking my other hand in his. Chris screams from the floor.

“I can tELL you’re going to be sO Cute TOgEtHeR!” He howls.

“Going to be? Aren’t we cute already?” I joke, pretending to check my hair in my reflection on the computer screen. Everyone laughs.

“No, you’re already too cute to handle,” Opal says sweetly, grinning. “I almost don’t want to how how cute you’ll be after a few years.”

“Well, you’re not getting rid of us that easily,” Phil says. “You’ll have to put up with us whether you like it or not.”

“I sure hope so,” PJ says. “Who knows where Dan will be in a few years’ time? Studying law now, he could be a famous lawyer or solicitor off somewhere else in a few years!” The comment was light-hearted and PJ meant well, but I suddenly felt a bit deflated. Phil must’ve noticed it, because he gently tugs at our intertwined hands, making me look up at him. I can see in his eyes that he’s asking me if I’m okay- but I shrug it off, shake my head and smile (albeit a little unconvincingly) and turn back to the computer screen. We all continue to chat for a while longer, before Chris gets up, stretches, and announces that he has class now that he should be getting to. We take that as a cue to say our goodbyes, and end the skype call. I shut the computer, and Phil pounces.

“Right, they’re not there anymore. What’s wrong?” he asks, clinging to my arm.

I shake my head. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Phil sits up straighter. “No, Dan. I saw you when PJ mentioned your future. I know there’s something bothering you, so what is it?” he asks gently.

“It… It’s just…” I stutter, not knowing how to phrase it without sounding like a massive drama queen.

“You can tell me anything, Dan. We’re soulmates. No matter what you say, I’m not going to judge. I’m trying to help,” Phil comforts.

“I’m…” I feel like crying. Phil pulls me into a warm hug and I breathe in deeply, blinking hard. I will _not_ cry.

“It’s just… You know that I don’t like studying law, and that I only did it because I didn’t know what else to do. I hate it, Phil. I don’t want this to be my life, with a career in law. But I don’t know what to _do_ ,” I confess in a rush. Phil hugs me tighter.

“It’s okay, Dan, it’s okay,” he soothes. “First of all, let’s figure out what to do about university. Do you want to go back after these few weeks with me?” I shake my head. “Then that’s fine. Maybe you could take a gap year, starting now; while you figure out what it is you want to do in life.” I consider this- it’s not a bad idea. Having a year to sort out what I’m doing in life would be helpful, and I could explore more opportunities and actually think about what I really want to complete in my lifetime instead of wondering what I could’ve done if I hadn’t gone down the law path.

“But where would I stay? I can’t stay at Uni, obviously, and I can’t guarantee that my parents will still want me around if I drop out.”

Phil moves his head so he’s looking directly into my eyes. Blue eyes stare into brown eyes. “Dan. You can stay with me.”

I blink.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

“Wait, what?”

“Stay here with me,” Phil says eagerly. “I have a spare bedroom, if you wanted to use it, and there’s plenty of room for you!”

“What?”

Phil laughs. “You can move in!”

The burden in my chest lightens immediately as I hear the genuine promise in his tone. On impulse, I hug tackle Phil, just like he’d hug tackled me in his video, effectively knocking him down onto the couch and kissing him gently. Phil responds immediately, wrapping me in his arms like a cocoon, kissing me back eagerly. Our lips moved in perfect synchronisation, tongues sliding together as the kiss got more heated. Pleasure shot through me, like fireworks- but before things get too heated, I pull away, caressing Phil’s cheek tenderly. “I want to take things slowly,” I explain quietly. “We have our whole lives to do everything together.”

Phil grins. “I agree completely,” he says simply. “We’ll take it as slow as you want, Dan.”

“Thank you.”

That night, we have our first meal together, a simple one of chicken fajitas and cake.

The next day, we have our first date, at an adorable Thai restaurant in town.

And there our lives begin together once more.

A life of _feeling_.

A life of love.

A life of firsts.

_Together._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, well done for reading this whole thing! Thank you so much for reading to the end! I hope you enjoyed this, and if you did please leave a comment or kudos, it motivates me and makes me very giggly and happy to see! I wasn't sure whether to add an epilogue or make this fic into a series, so let me know what you think in the comments! (Also, who else has Supremely ExtraTM friends like Chris and PJ? Gotta love them!)   
> Thanks for reading, many hugs! <3   
> -Emma xoxo

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Yoonmin/The Soulshield//Soulmates AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852768) by [Emma_fandoms_forever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_fandoms_forever/pseuds/Emma_fandoms_forever)




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